Signs Of Our Times
- At a Santa Fe gas station: “We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.”
- In a New York restaurant: “Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager.”
- On a Baltimore estate: “Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. — Sisters of Mercy”
- In a New York drugstore: “We dispense with accuracy.”
- In the offices of a loan company: “Ask about our plans for owning your home.”
- On a Maine shop: “Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.”
- At a number of military bases: “Restricted to unauthorized personnel.”
- On a display of “I love you only” Valentine cards: “Now available in multi-packs.”
- In the window of an appliance store: “Don’t kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.”
Movies
My mother and I were walking down the street when a man stopped us. “I’m taking a survey,” he said. “Do you think there is too much love-making in the movies?”
“I’m not sure,” replied my mother. “I’m usually too wrapped up in the film to notice what the rest of the audience is doing.”
