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The Lighter Side

December 17, 2014 Published by Rajesh Goel

Signs Of Our Times

  • At a Santa Fe gas station: “We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.”
  • In a New York restaurant: “Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager.”
  • On a Baltimore estate: “Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. — Sisters of Mercy”
  • In a New York drugstore: “We dispense with accuracy.”
  • In the offices of a loan company: “Ask about our plans for owning your home.”
  • On a Maine shop: “Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.”
  • At a number of military bases: “Restricted to unauthorized personnel.”
  • On a display of “I love you only” Valentine cards: “Now available in multi-packs.”
  • In the window of an appliance store: “Don’t kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.”


My mother and I were walking down the street when a man stopped us. “I’m taking a survey,” he said. “Do you think there is too much love-making in the movies?”
“I’m not sure,” replied my mother. “I’m usually too wrapped up in the film to notice what the rest of the audience is doing.”


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