The Lighter Side

“Secrecy is when your parent doesn’t know *which* cookie you stole. Privacy is when they don’t know you’ve been to the cookie jar.”
– Andy Ellis, CSO, Akamai Technologies

“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.” —Mark Twain

Homer was playing golf with the town’s fire chief when he hit a ball into the rough.

As Homer headed for the brush to find his ball, the chief warned him, “Be careful, the rattlesnakes are out.” The chief said calls had been coming in asking for help with the snakes.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Homer replied.

“People actually call the fire department to help them with rattlesnakes? What do you say to them?”

“Well,” said the chief, “the first thing I ask is, ‘Is it on fire?’ ”