Sunder (the first and only... Thank whatever gods your believe in!)
  Born 05-12-1971, 5:30pm (or about)
  Will happily die knowing he did his best to confuse everyone.
  Height: 72,000,000.002 +/- 0.125 micro inches
  Weight: 100,000,000.001 +/- 0.141 miligrams
  Hair colour: blacker then night
  Eye colour: glowing red.
  Complexion: ghost like.
  Profession: pervert
  Religion: cloud-cukoo-land
  Origin: when x, y, and z are all equal to zero.
  Goals: confusion, disorder and chaos.
  Weaponry: anarchy, disorder, and Hubba-Bubba bubble-gum.
  Favorite books: Abnormal Psychology: A Do it yourself guide
  Favorite movie: Terminal Boredom on a BBS before a file-pack
  Favorite time of day:  25 Post Meridian o'clock
  Favorite month: Pentember
  Favorite date: February 31,e^1999 BC (Before Conraceptives)
  Favorite color: black (as in hole)
  Favorite sound: one hand clapping
  Favorite computer: a dead one
  Favorite lawyer: an honest one (nonexistant)
  Favorite doctor: Who?
  Favorite capitan: Kirk
  Astrological sign: Cynic
  Favorite animal: barbaqued
  Favorite food: girls
  Favorite drink: blood (or V8 if blood is unavailable)
  Favorite chair: electric one.
  Favorite bucket: a kicked one.
  Favorite tv show: static fuzz on a nonexistanc channel
  Favorite tape: spliced
  Favorite bridge: Brooklyn Bridge... Care to buy it? I'll sell
                   it real cheap to you..
  Favorite shuttle: challenger, after it blew to kingdom come
  Favorite train: midnight to georgia
  Favorite thought: ultraviolence.
  Favorite geans: rybo-nucleic-acid
  Favorite shake: Earth quake
  Favorite object: tachyon.
  Favorite alien: any illegal one
  Favorite mode: Depeche
  Favorite order: New
  Favorite Quote:"Put him in a round room, and tell him to piss in a corner."
  
     A raging tempest of arogance and irony, he lashes out in fury
and in laughter, condemning nothing, and promoting even
less; the very fiber of sarcasm reincarnated, with a sense of
love for anger... A morbid lust for knowledge, and a touch of
comfort imbedded within detailed chaos, and perhaps even more
elaborate dellusions to follow.
     What does it mean?  Well, that depends on who needs to know.
Indifference and ignorance, granted, are not the same, yet
they are the ideal.  One, who knows enough to see his own
ignorance, has mastered it all, and yet, to his dismay, he
has learned nothing useful to him, or anyone else.
     You read this file in hope of finding out more, but in doing
so, you now know less then when you set out on this quest for
knowledge.  I must give congratulations, to you, my victim.
Welcome to your own private, fluttering nonsense.  My gift to
you: a Pandora's box, yet filled with precious debris, as
well as the desired disappointment you seek.
     Suffice to say, I will quench your thirst for information, if
not in the illusion a story teller uses to create awe within
the minds of the circle of curious children about him, then
perhaps, as a great joke on the reader with no punchline.
     What does thee ask of me?  Then again, how am I supposed to
know, as you are indeed reading, and pondering upon a pre-
recorded form letter used to scare little children, and cause
old ladies to shake their heads in disbelif and shock.
Nevertheless.  I welcome you to my world.  A world I created
for you, just as a spider spins his web, I have, this tale
for you to tell.  Curiosity is a bad thing, for it leaves one
open to disappointment and boredom.
     While you are disappointed, I am filled with laughter, and
the final motions are in place as you slowly realize your
mistake in attempting to use your right to find something out
about this so called person who authored this chaotic, badly
written nonsense.  Yes, rest assured, I'm most happy with
your outrage, and I know you feel screwed.  But forgive me,
for it is my nature to ramble on about nothing in particular,
and in the end to have the reader filled with a sense of
disappointment and fulfilment of self torture, thinking to
himself "Why did I bother!"

It's such a lovely day... too bad I spoilled it for you.  :-)